Lying for Santa's Sake

Think back to your childhood. It's Christmas Eve, and you and your siblings have left out freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk near the fireplace.  Empty stockings are hung on the mantel and there is nothing under the tree.  You lay in bed staring at the ceiling, praying for morning to come sooner.  You are waiting for one man and one man only.  He is a big jolly man who will fill your stocking and bring presents galore to stuff under the tree.  You are waiting for Santa Claus.

   

Parents choose to tell the Santa Claus lie to their children for their own good. Honesty is usually the best policy, but the Santa Claus lie is one exception.  Parents are only trying to enhance their child's imagination and give them a better childhood experience.  If this involves telling a small fib for their own good, then they should lie.  As long as young kids believe in fantasies such as Santa Claus, parents should just go with the flow. "Children ages 3 to 6 are deep into their fantasy life, and they are delighted when parents play along," says Adele Brodkin, Ph.D., senior child development consultant.  Psychologists have found that fantasies help children develop creativity, language, and cognitive skills.  White lies such as the Santa Claus lie show children that it is okay to believe in things that may seem impossible, and to ultimately chase their dreams.  Whether your kids are in preschool or high school, there are certain times when it's OK to fib. One of these times is the Santa Claus fib.

Although experts stress that truthfulness is crucial to a healthy parent-child relationship, they also agree that sometimes less than the whole truth can be a good thing. "A parent's job is to protect children and nurture their development," says Robin Altman, M.D., a child psychiatrist and medical director of the Children's Home of Reading, in Reading, Pennsylvania. "At times, that means telling a small lie — or holding back some of the truth — when they don't have the capacity to deal with all the facts yet."

Some argue that parents should not lie to their children about Santa because children may never forgive them and learn to not trust their parents.  But psychologists have found that these little lies of expedience are harmless if they are used sparingly. They actually help enhance children's imagination, teaching them that anything is possible.

Parents should continue to lie to their children about Santa. Believing in Santa was one of the best parts of my childhood, and everyone should experience this period of make believe as a child.  If the lie is small and harmless enough, like the Santa Claus lie, children will get over the initial heartbreak when told he isn't real, and they will learn to trust and ultimately thank their parents in the end.  Although my heart was broken when my older brother told me that Santa wasn't real, I'm very thankful that my parents lied to me about Santa Claus, enhancing my childhood and allowing me to believe in fantasies.